Thoughts, Reflections, and New Goals

Another summer approaches along with the potential for another Hurricane and threats of hurricanes. It has been nine months since Ike and my heart attack during that event. I still think back to that day and recall that I felt fine and had no ill effects after hard work preparing for Ike. The words of the doctor at the hospital still give me pause to consider that it wasn't just stress from Ike or some partial blockage in my arteries that brought about my attack in total. My kidneys were also shutting down because of two medicines that I began taking two weeks before were in conflict. My body was in stress and my kidneys were about to fail. I actually had to stay in the hospital the extra day because they were still flushing my kidneys to return my body back to a normal state. Once that was accomplished I was back to normal and with no damage to my heart I was able to work and feel just fine. So to others observing me I imagine they were somewhat amazed that here was a guy who just had a heart attack, yet was working along side them to clean up the damage and restore a broken house to a somewhat liveable home. I didn't understand it myself at the time with so many thoughts spinning in my head.

As this spring approached I wondered how I would be able to maintain my airport property. Was I truly back to normal? Could I push mow a half acre of heavy tall grass like I had all these years? Did being 61 make a difference? Did having a heart attack make a difference? The answer it turns out is that I am as able as I was and mowing and heavy chores don't seem to be a problem as long as I am in shape and don't over do things with the heat and all. I'd rather do that work than sit on the stationary bike any day. Something gets accomplished, at least.

What I don't like as a result of having a heart attack is all the medicines. The worst medicine is the one that lowers your metabolism and gives you the since of needing more sleep and having less energy. It also makes you retain fluids and you weigh more. I cannot seems to lose any weight, but now that summer approaches I am getting more active with chores, as long as I can motivate myself to overcome the medical doldrums and the scorching heat. And the worse part is I need to be accomplishing some things before I have another catastrophic event unfold before my very eyes.

The fact is that my airport property is in bad shape, and it is where I work to ship out mail orders from my two businesses (ecoleco.com and scootersupport.com). It also houses inventory, etc. I built that structure over the years by myself to live and work in, adding to it in stages until it was nearly 3000 square feet in size as a two story building. Now the termites and wood rot have taken a toll that makes my choices for repair nearly impossible to consider. And to make it worse every month the deterioration intensifies and makes my options change and become fewer. I actually started the work to repair and restore it several years ago by clearing brush and gaining access to the side of the property, which is why I now have so much to push mow. But with termites now in complete control it seems hopeless to restore the structure. I just need to do a complete clean up, reorganization, and salvage whatever content and parts of the structure that I can. That in itself is a new and immense undertaking that I am considering how to approach. Most of it is just back breaking hard work, and something my orthopedic doctor would say my shoulders cannot handle. That is another story about my shoulder problems. But to not try to do something is inviting a problem of another magnitude. At least by challenging the situation as it exists I can salvage something and set up another environment for business and storage.

So my goals are complex and undefined but nothing I haven't been able to accomplish before. The hardest part of every undertaking I have ever attempted is getting started. And getting started is harder, I have found, as you get older and have more excuses (like bad shoulders and age). Yet, goals are what make us what we are and provide us reason for living. We'll see how this unfolds.