Memories

Memories are a great thing, for the most part. Anyone who really knows my wife knows she can remember events of a particular day and days around that date with uncanny accuracy. She can tell you the day of the week of a particular date you provide, and if there were any events of her life that happened on or about that date. It is a wonderful ability.

I know in my own life I can remember details of things that happened to me at any point of my life IF they were important to me. I can even remember dreams, if they were important to me. But I cannot just recall a date in time and events of that time. That takes something special.

CBS’s show, 60 Minutes, recently did a show on people who can recall almost every day of their lives, including the mundane events of the day. The show also noted that their was one unexplained common among those who possessed that ability. They all had some form of obsessive compulsive disorder. It didn’t have to be anything major, just obsessive about storing shoes in a closet, or organizing compulsively. To me, that is the key in that memories become retrievable because we rethink them enough to make them engrained into our subconscious and allow our conscious to find them. These people may have to think about associated memories before they find that memory they want, but they do find it.

Having memories, as I indicated before, is a good thing unless it is a bad memory. I have had too many occasions when a bad event, memory, has run over and over through my mind as I lay trying to get to sleep. The memory tended to just reinforce itself by my not being able to block it. These type memories for the average person can cause intense and lasting pain for a long time until the mind eventually and blessfully allows the event to fade until peace has once again calmed the memory. But for the obsessive compulsive mind that memory never fades without treatment.

I am not obsessive compulsive by definition, but I do have some tendencies as do we all. The mind is complex. I like to see light switches on two sides of the room that control the same light fixture both be down if the light is off. I don’t know why. We all have some peculiarity like that. But some events, like a car accident that injured my mom and killed other people when I was a young teen, will always stay there to haunt me. I know they ran the stop sign into our path, but the memory remains forever. Everyone probably has some such memory. That is why I know important memories are seared into our minds and remain forever. If we think about it enough the memory never fades.

Forgetting is a blessing. It helps us stay sane and organizes the brain to keep what is important in the forefront. Otherwise we would all be totally insane, confused, or otherwise unable to function in today’s complex world.

We sometimes need help to keep us sane, too. There are people who can help everyone, compulsive or not. Not seeking help is seriously bad for ones health and will cause more dire medical problems. So no matter what the source of the bad memory there is a remedy that can provide relief.

A good friend just posted this on Facebook that helps keep it all in perspective for how family memories can be good or bad, but forgiveness and forgetting the bad memories is a blessing:

“If one of your spiritual goals in life is to learn patience, compassion, forgiveness, or serenity, your difficult family members can give you some wonderful “feel the burn” workouts! It’s no sweat to be patient, compassionate, forgiving, or serene with people who aren't in your family, but if you can learn to do it with your most irritating relatives you’ve done some crucial inner work on your spiritual journey.”

We may not all be in it for the spiritual comfort and goals, but one's health is definitely affected when emotions and bad memories have not healed. Jesus said that forgiveness, loving ones enemies, not judging others, but reflecting on oneself and oneself only will provide enlightenment and contentment. It is a work in progress for us all, but it is what allows us to coexist.